B, I would respond well. And when I say …
B, I would respond well. And when I say “well” I mean I would simply not stand for the that kind of behaviour unless the circumstances told me otherwise. If it was a guy she barely knows and you can hear in conversation she’s flirting (and no, her talking to him is not flirting even if you may convince yourself that it is).
I would stop, think about how I can make the situation fun for me. I’d introduce myself and take hold of their conversation and do with it what I liked. That would be fun for me because I know how to do that….to answer your Q.
Also don’t forget some people are just stupid, inconsiderate or not savvy / experienced enough to know how their actions affect others. You feel you have low confidence (just a comparison), and I’m sure it affects you in social situations.
The fact you said ‘hot guy’ indicated a lot of that to me. You see, I know many men who are confident and good with women. They approach women all the time with easy and get laid regularly. None of them ever refer to a guy their remembering as a “hot guy” even though NONE of them are ‘hot’. Therefore, even though I don’t know you, I get a good feeling that you’re not one of those guys because you don’t sound or act in a way consistent with that of a guy who has confidence with women.
In addition to that you’re on a blog with dating advice for men on it.
And, to answer your question about the ‘hot guy’:
Girls will not disrepect you if you command respect. Reward good behaviour and punish bad (keeping composed and through indifference).
She’s talking for ages to the hot guy? How can I make this more fun for me? Walk away and approach another girl, finished. To me that’s really obvious if I feel I’m not being unreasonable. Just think, ‘what would I expect her to do if I spoke to a hot girl for ages?’
Just keep in mind ‘reasonableness’, it’s a very individual thing. If you’re not confident discussing it with her and being totally open (whilst remaining composed and indifferent) then you will show her you don’t care but you’re also upfront which has innumerable benefits discussed more in the online course sectonion.
Also keep in mind that the more insecure you are the more unreasonable things may seem. When my girlfriend goes and talks to a hot guy for a while I couldn’t care less. You want him? Have him, because I don’t want to be with a girl that is in two minds about being with me. On the other hand, she has never ever given me any reason to doubt or question her loyalty so even though I may be on my guard I never show it.
To be more specific though, when this has happened to me I usually interject by introducing myself and quickly following it with a few gambits. I’m also overly nice and complimentary, I want him to see me as a beta male, someone who isn’t a threat. 95% of the time an introduction will end the issue as most guys like to avoid confrontation. You may FIND him confronting because of his looks but deep down it can often mean those guys are more insecure than you could ever imagine (in my experience).
If they ever confront me I usually become even nicer…it just makes them look like total dicks by comparison. The thing is, my nice comments now have a different delivery. A sarcastic one, I’m teasing him (push) to punish his bad behaviour but I do it without him even knowing because I have a strategy I have used for that many times before. Subscribe to the RSS feed and get my next blog post that I will write that follows this idea but applies it to dealing with Ice Queens and cold, unresponsive women.
- For you it may be a different story. Here’s
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- Lyrics? That’s random. Thanks for compliment.
- Yes that’s right, I’ve used that before with success.
It showed I was savvy in knowing social convention (that the guy usually buys the drink) but then I showed I was attractive in being savvy enough to break the social norm without being like most other guys. Most other guys break social norms and miss signals from women unknowingly. It’s attractive when you make it OBVIOUS that you’re having a play, if you don’t you flirt with easy failure.
The thing is, what is coming out of your mouth may not match the stereotype someone mind assigns you when they’re trying to figure out what type of guy you are and how to relate to you. A guy who is figured out as being gay in a womans mind ( or even just ‘in the closet’) will allow him to get away with a lot of heavy touching advances early on in their relationship. She will honestly think he’s gay and not see his advances as a sexual threat.
I’m not saying pretend to be gay to touch more women, hell no. I’m saying that when they first meet you they’re unknowingly trying to pick the type of guy you are. We do this because we need to know which aspects of your personality will need to go to work to have a successful interaction. I saw a guy just tonight talk down to his grown daughter and then be all nice and soft with his elderly mother. He said ‘oh fuck’ when his daughter dropped her fork and “oh it’s ok mum” when his mother knocked over the bread plate. He was just showing his two different ‘modes’ of relating to people.
All I’m saying is that counter intuitive approaches will avoid having people “‘pick you” and then think they know you. “It’s just another nervous loser” they may think but instead you actively apply counter intuitiveness. The moment she thinks that and picks you as “a nervous loser” and then you tell HER to buy you a drink with a smile will work but you may need a little bit more of an application of counter intuitiveness because before you do that just to make sure you doesn’t see you as a loser because she thinks you’re for real and not joking.
Yes you can. All the 4 things can be used in addition to your personality to direct it along to get women. At the core of it, each one of these things are important for their own specific reasons. Your situation will dictate how important ‘counter intuitiveness’ would be, for example:
“Hi my name is John” may indeed be counter intuitive if all the other guys who have tried to pick a girl before have used a ‘pick up line’ or a ‘canned opener’ like “Hey settle this argument for me Darling”. You have to remember counter intuitiveness is CONTEXT based. It’s not what YOU think is counter intuitive, it’s what the target will see as counter intuitive.
Of course, you can’t always know what the ‘target’ will see as counter intuitive unless you stalk and watch guys approach her. It usually doesn’t take too much brain power to figure out what it means to be counter intuitive though because don’t forget, we’re all human and most guys think and want to act just like you would. They would do the ‘logical’ thing, which actually isn’t “Hi I’m John” in my experience.
- In my experience most men:
- 1) Just don’t approach
- 2) Over compensate for their nervousness and instead come on too hard or simply say something that is received as quite odd or awkward
3) Make a comment in passing to the woman which goes nowhere e.g. “Ooh, that drink looks nice” or “Hows your night going”
So in reality, “Hi I’m John” can often be counter intuitive. But you need to be aware of your context , if everyone is saying “Hi my name is John” because it’s a corporate networking function then it will often pay to stop, observe and think “whats the opposite of ‘hi I’m john’ within reason?”. When I go to corporate functions like Careers fairs or Industry Exhibitions I approach people by “stating the obvious”.
Because official and proper corporate types never state the obvious, they’re niceties are couched in professionalism and even if you have a big green lettuce leaf stuck in your teeth they won’t bat an eyelid. Me on the other hand, approached a stuffy woman at the
Sydney Lawyers Careers Fair last week.
Her name was Sarah and she was a Junior Partner at one of the bigger Corporate Litigation firms (in other words, she was VERY official on the face of things). Most guys say ” I would never have the balls to do that” but you really don’t need balls if you just remember 1 thing that will stop you from being scared when implementing this / approaching:
Everyone is nice and laid back with someone. She may look official / pretentious or seem dry and uncooperative at first but never forget that each women you approach has a best friend, a boss and usually at least 2 other people in their lives that they enjoy talking to or are have to be nice to. Even though they may appear ‘cold’ it is just a facade because EVERYONE has had can can continue to have a proper conversation.
Always know that under every cold / official / pretentious facade there’s a real person who’s just putting it on. If you act like you understand and like you see through it “by observing and stating the obvious / the unspoken” then you will break through that falsity and instantly start talking to them in the same casual way the majority of people talk with their closest friends.
Hope this answers your question in hardcore detail.
Me: “Hey you guys look pretty interesting but before I talk to you about your product / service you need to promise not to give me any more bags or brochures because I’m getting a slipped disc carrying around all this promotional stuff.”
Her: *Laughs* No that’s Ok I’ll promise not to, just a business card….
- Me: *Playfully* How much does that business card weigh?
- Her: *Laughs* Not much, I’m sure you can handle it.
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- Pick up artist videos – Simple Ways to Pick Up Girls, Fast
No I don’t think this is possible. I believe you are born gay and ‘converting a lesbian’ is like me saying a charming guy can convert you to being gay….which I’m sure you’d disagree with because you’re simply not gay. If they’re bi to begin with that’s still a different issue – having said that, many of my lesbian or gay friends have had heterosexual sex before they ‘came out of the closet’ but they hated it and usually forced themselves because of social convention.
- Fixed So sorry for inconvenience
- Thanks for the heads up – all should be perfect now
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