Is A Nice Guy Defined By Shyness?

Is being a nice guy all about being shy with women? A nice guy asked me this the other day, and wanted to know more and how it relates to confidence.

He couldn’t quite figure out if confidence really is that important to women. Are nice guys failing with women because they’re nice, or because they’re shy? Is it a lack of confidence that makes nice guys fail with women!

My answer is “an absolute unwavering yes”.

In my mind, confidence and shyness are so important, that I think most of hook ups, relationships and dates that are missed – are so because of shyness. Mostly shyness in nice-guys. There are a few reasons really.

1) Women don’t see shyness in men

The guys online who claim that women hate shy guys completely misinterpret things. Its not that women hate shy guys… Its that women don’t even know guys can be shy or have issues or fear.

When you actually act shy around a woman, she doesn’t know it. If you’re too shy to call a woman, she thinks you’re rejecting her. If she’s flirting with her, and you don’t know how to flirt back, she thinks you’re arrogant.

2) All dating requires both parties to play the courtship ritual

We have a natural mating ritual just like other animals. This ritual has some principles and concepts and rules for each of the two parties.

One of the universal principles all courtship has is the display of interest. Unless both parties display interest, nothing can happen.

Women actually get offended when a man doesn’t display interest, or does it the wrong way. She sees it as the guy being a jerk. She doesn’t know its insecurity or shyness.
Learn more about nice guys. Stop by Alex Decoto’s quiz where you get a personalized profile and analysis on how women see you.