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T also commented
Firstly I want you to know that you are not alone and all those feelings of being confused about your sexuality are normal for most people who are gay, bi-sexual and victims of abuse. I am seriously underqualified to give you any help regarding your past and abuse and the fact that you ‘enjoyed it’ may be the case but often after clearer examination (and as you get older) it is not uncommon for people to realise that ‘enjoying it’ was due to a variety of things that may seem valid now but as you get older may make you seriously angry (e.g. an adult used their authority over you to convince you that you enjoyed it when in reality you were too young to know what was and wasn’t acceptable). My advice to you is that if you cannot afford to see a psychologist regarding this checkered sexual past that you engage a counsellor at your university (which are often free), because once again I am not qualified to deal with sexual abuse or sexuality.
Having said that I will give you my opinion, but you will need to take it with a grain of salt as it is definitely not gospel.
I have a wide variety of gay friends and reguarly ask them about the whole nature vs nurture debate.
I do believe that certain environments do promote homosexual behaviour because men simply do not have women (or do not feel they can get women). Jails are the most obvious example of this. Additionally if you were teased as a kid I could understand if you were lonely any that any friendship may have been the ray of light you needed to hold on to may add confusion to your life as your affections are bottle up and waiting to be unleashed on anyone that is willing to reciprocate.
As for gymnastics and your high voice etc etc I can understand how that would have resulted in some heavy teasing of you being ‘gay’. Social proof and extreme social pressure can result in something I like to call ‘framing’. People ‘frame’ you as gay so you start to wonder ‘Are they right? After all, they’re more smart / popular / wise / etc than me so maybe I should listen’.
The fact of the matter is this. No one can tell you whether you are gay or not. I would recommened that you sample both men and women and see how you feel afterwards, after all, you may be bi-sexual which is also a very acceptable life choice – the only problem is understanding that it is a choice and it is natural, normal and acceptable. Ultimately you need to do what makes you feel good, if men make you feel good in a sexual light then you should explore and pursue that arena….likewise with women. I can also understand that not having women can make this hard for you – particularly in your formative years (which you’re still in) – so I advise you try both and see how you feel afterwards.
No one is pressuring you to make a decision. Whether it takes you 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 weeks or 10 years to decide ‘what you are’ you need to understand that there is no rush (despite all the social pressures that may come your way when people may sneer at you and ask you ‘are you gay or are you straight’, understand it is OK and very acceptable to say ‘I’m not sure yet’ and not succumb to peoples’ expectations of you ‘having to choose and know NOW what you are’). There’s no rush and the stress and pressure of society to ‘make you choose’ should not influence your decision or force you into a lifestyle you’re not yet sure about.
What I do know from my gay friends is that they realised they were quite different from the other children at a very young age (my friends say between 4-7 years old). They were not sure what it was but they WERE sure that they were very different in some way. I’m not sure if that’s much help but do not let you ‘not knowing’ continue to irk you, if anything take pride in knowing you’re strong enough to say ‘I don’t know’ and enjoy this journey of discovery because it truely can be a beautiful thing, even if your friends or ignorant others cannot understand how or why you’re doing what you’re doing or the way you are.
In Europe now, finishing up in Istanbul and heading to Budapest, Prague, Poland, Italy, Greece and maybe another workshop in London. Happy to squeeze in Belgium if you send me in an application form on the Workshops link on the site.
Yep, the site’s been updated, the old login link is no longer there. You’ll need to click the “Login” button on the homepage which will take you to
Sure thing but it’s the ‘how it works’ page…….
Dude, will be putting out a post soon on ‘how to pick up at school’
Recent comments by T
Pick up artist videos – Simple Ways to Pick Up Girls, Fast
No I don’t think this is possible. I believe you are born gay and ‘converting a lesbian’ is like me saying a charming guy can convert you to being gay….which I’m sure you’d disagree with because you’re simply not gay. If they’re bi to begin with that’s still a different issue – having said that, many of my lesbian or gay friends have had heterosexual sex before they ‘came out of the closet’ but they hated it and usually forced themselves because of social convention.
Fixed So sorry for inconvenience
Thanks for the heads up – all should be perfect now
Video: T Gets a Woman’s Number in 1 Minute at a Mall
Hahaha – are you serious? Being gay is being gay – nothing in the world can change that if that’s how you naturally are.
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